His Way

With his expressive hand gestures, puffed out chest, and widened shoulders the alpha male of one table playfully jokes and jeers with that of another. They seem to be friends or at least acquaintances. The smile and laugh, but there is a visible display of “I am in control” or “I am taking charge” in each leaders body language.

Approaching the seaside restaurant another man saunters up to the groups of already seated men clustered at different tables. Few local women are in sight, as it is typically men who lounge in the restaurants and cafes.Again, they seem to all know one another. Again, there is expressive hand gestures, puffed out chest, and widened shoulders at this alpha male takes center stage. There is an air of confidence, yet an exaggerated, hyperbolic confidence which suggests it is all for show. He speaks loudly across the table to the others— not yelling, but more of an assertive, almost aggressive tone. As he is standing and most are sitting, he is postured well for his power position. All hail king…!

Much of the scene observed above happened in the absence of women, but in the classroom in which there are 12-13 women and one man, our student’s nonverbal communication is different. He still expresses control and confidence, but he sits in the corner where he is able to occupy more space. His arms are outstretched, with one or at times both lying on the table or shelf behind him. He is outspoken and louder than the women. His confidence is certainly real, yet not exaggerated. He is still center stage, but it is more subtle. Why wouldn’t it be as there is no one here to challenge him, to conquer his subjectivity? In a room of women he has no threat of losing this.

Such noticeable non-verbal communication parallels what I have seen in Italy or Morocco regularly, but if one sits back and observes a group of men in a bar in the U.S. similar traits will be evident. They may be more subtle, diluted, yet we can easily examine what Merriam-Webster calls “a strong sense of masculine pride: an exaggerated sense of masculinity…an exaggerated sense of power and strength”. This my friends, is machismo—more evident in body than in one’s words.

In the U.S. any act of machismo would include an ingrained bro-code in that men do not touch other men. To deviate from this, to rest one's hand our arm upon another male's, would in fact be a clear violation of American machismo. Here however, this is not the case at all. One can express strength with the power of touch as well. Touching doesn't seem to be relevant to power, but I will need to more observation to conclude for certain. With that, I guess I better head to the cafe!